Emperor Zinyak Announces Saints Row IV ‘Game of the Generation’ Edition

Attention All Sentient Members of the
Human Species

Hello. Emperor Zinyak here, speaking through
the abominable and lowly marketing and
public relations departments of Deep Silver,
which I assure you will be much handled now
that I am in control. It has come to my
attention that the so-called "Super Dangerous
Wub Wub Edition" of the upcoming Saints
Row IV title for PC and Consoles needed more
"wub" and rare items for the gamers of today
and therefore I have commandeered these
contemptible departments to issue news of
my own version of the Saints Row IV
collector's edition, one collector's edition to
rule them all. Today I present to you the
Saints Row IV Game of the Generation
Edition.
Included in the stupendously triumphant
Game of the Generation Edition - $129.99
while supplies last, only 5000 copies
produced - is a rare and coveted Display Case
of Everlasting Glory: a light-up rotating
display case with an individually-numbered
plaque indicating exclusiveness, elitism,
AAAAA quality and other highbrow words
describing your unwavering dedication to my
ultimate reign over humanity. Additionally,
because you love the finer things in life but
will never be more than a tiny, insignificant
human being and therefore lesser than the
greatest being of them all, myself, the Game
of the Generation Edition comes with a "Top
Shelf" velvet pouch for you to protect this
treasure and pass it down to any offspring I
may or may not allow you to produce. And in
a show of my truly magnanimous nature, the
Game of the Generation Edition includes all
items in the previously announced Super
Dangerous Wub Wub edition as well. You're
welcome.
And in the event that you need a reminder,
since I know human brains are far less
powerful than my own perfect and luxuriously
sculpted brain, included in the Super
Dangerous Wub Wub edition - $99.99 - is a
12-inch Dubstep gun replica capable of
rendering your enemies absolutely speechless
with the power of music. The ultra-high
quality weapon replica with its sleek design,
delightful "wubs" directly from the in-game
Dubstep Gun and a laser sight. Yes, it's a
replica. You don't really think I'd allow you to
have an actual weapon, do you?
Additionally the Super Dangerous Wub Wub
Edition comes with an awe-inspiring 8-inch
Johnny Gat Memorial Statue for all Saints to
be able to pay tribute to the greatest Saint.
Future generations will gaze upon Johnny's
grandeur while learning the history of his
glorious murdering sprees with the Third
Street Saints.
And because no President, especially yours,
America, is ever without 'the button,' the
Super Dangerous Wub Wub edition comes
with a pocket-sized Dubstep Doomsday
Button so fans can drop bombs on the go.
Look at you. So powerful!
Fans of the game and citizens of Steelport
who purchase either collector's edition will
also receive all in-game items from the
Commander in Chief pre-order bonus, which
include a Screaming Eagle that fires rockets
out of its talons and can invoke the "Sonic
Scream" attack, a limited-edition American-
iconic "Uncle Sam" uniform decked out in
those horrendous American flag colors and a
stimulus package of epic proportions – the
'Merica gun – a massive compilation of
primitive human firepower.
The Super Dangerous Wub Wub edition and
the Game of the Generation Edition of Saints
Row IV are now available for preorder in
North America and will only be available as
long as supplies last.
Saints Row IV launches August 20th, 2013
across North and Latin America and August
23rd in the rest of the world. While you still
have a world, anyway.